Who knew a vacation could be so stressful.
Two weeks at a lakeside cottage would sound like heaven to most people but it’s seems to be causing nothing but anxiety for me. I’m sure once we get there things will be a lot different and I’ll have plenty of peaceful relaxation and down time but getting there is surely going to kill me. The amount of stuff that has to be done to get ready is feeling very insurmountable to me as I am lacking the energy and organizational skills that most people take for granted.
Never before have I had so much difficulty making decisions as to what clothes to pack. I mean it’s a cottage for crying out loud…who cares what you wear! But even that simple task had me reaching for my anti-anxiety med. I’ve packed for European vacations without blinking an eye and here I am struggling with some hoodies and capris. I just don’t get it and the frustration is pushing me over the edge. Then there’s the food, linens and all the other cottage related bits. Not to mention cleaning the house from top to bottom (I can’t handle coming home to a dirty house…an obsession I refuse to overcome), making sure the lawn is cut, the cats are cared for, shopping for all the groceries and ensuring my son, who has since moved not to far away to college, has everything he needs. I’m beyond exhausted and I’m not even finished yet. Then comes packing the car. Have you ever seen two women try to strap two kayaks to the roof rack of a SUV? Not pretty.
Impeding this usually uneventful preparation is my flat-lined mental state at the moment. My new med has yet to kick in so nothing is easy and my anxiety level is through the roof. And not only am I stressing about everything we need to do to get on the road, but my brain has also decided to focus on every possible stressful event that could happen sometime in my future. Why wait when you can plan ahead right?
Hopefully my next post will be about me enjoying the lake view with nothing to do but read, knit and enjoying the occasional campfire, and how my new meds have finally kicked in.
One can only hope.
