I thought maybe I was just spending too much time at home. I needed a change of scenery. Cabin fever…yeah that was it.
I was having more and more trouble filling my days and getting up in the morning was becoming increasingly painful. Everything was becoming a huge effort and I was frustrated beyond belief. I didn’t want to admit that I was on a downward trajectory. It had to be something else. Something that could happen to anybody. So I did what anybody would do. I got the hell out of Dodge.
A quick jaunt to the airport and it was off to New York City for a few days. I couldn’t think of a better place to get an injection of life. The frenetic pace, the world class museums, the over-the-top urbanity of it all. And even though I’m not a big fan of high end fashion, who can turn down a little something silver from Tiffany’s on Fifth Ave? Not me! I figured immersing myself in a place where there is so much I love to see and do would give me the motivation I needed to get me off of my ass and back in the game (my partner has the patience of a saint).
Nope. We never even set foot in a museum. I got one look at the Met’s exhibition layout and felt completely overwhelmed. There was no way I had the energy nor the stamina it would take to wander though all of the floors of exhibits, but, at the same time I was disappointed knowing what I was going to miss (even though I’ve been there before). Same for the Guggenheim and the Museum of Modern Art. We strolled over to Rockefeller Centre but I had no interest in going to the ‘Top of the Rock’ for it’s magnificent view of the city…something I usually would have very much enjoyed. Although we strolled down Fifth Ave., Tiffany’s didn’t call out to me…not even a whisper…so we strolled right on by.
I whined so much in Central Park that we took the shortest path possible, just enough to skim by a few trees (insert partner’s patience again here) but just enough to call it official. Although we did do a fair amount of walking in the city…from Macy’s to Grand Central Station and few other sites…I was short on enthusiasm and my legs felt like lead. Just like at home.
I must admit that realizing that it wasn’t my surroundings that were bringing me down was hard to take. It was me. I was the only common denominator and I didn’t like doing the math. It was in New York that I decided to take some very good advice that I had been given and start a blog. Not the upbeat and trendy type of blog that was originally contemplated…I just didn’t have that in me at the moment…but instead more of a snapshot of my life at this point in time. Not quite so upbeat but just painfully honest. Perhaps the process itself would help give me the strength and the motivation I need to try to tackle this roadblock head on. Just finding other bloggers who are brave enough to let us in on their less-than-perfect lives gives me the courage and the inspiration to do the same. If you want imperfection, you’ve come to the right place.
